Just Not That Into You: Experiences of Indifference Toward a Romantic Partner

Theoretical work has proposed that people can have four different patterns of interpersonal evaluations: mostly positive, mostly negative, ambivalent (both positive and negative), and indifferent (neither positive nor negative). Notably, indifference has been largely overlooked by empirical research, despite growing evidence that indifferent feelings can occur in romantic relationships. To address this gap, we examined the associations of feelings of indifference toward one’s romantic partner with relationship and personal well-being across four studies (N = 2,490), using cross-sectional and longitudinal data from couples and individuals in relationships. To do so, we developed the Subjective Interpersonal Indifference Scale and established it as a valid and reliable measure to assess this evaluation. Our findings showed that indifference toward a romantic partner is associated with lower relationship and personal well-being, both concurrently and longitudinally. Underlying these associations were higher feelings of boredom in the relationship, higher desire for attractive alternatives, and lower intimacy.